Well this whole "relationship" business is so much like an adventure. Going in i never knew what to expect but i was happy with that. I never worried about how i was going to get somewhere as long as i knew id make it. Course like all adventures it has its ups and downs. You have your traps, the people who want to stop you at all costs, and the people who are there to just get what they want from you. But then you get all the great things like the strangers who help you with your journey, the beautiful landscapes, and that beautiful girl to stick by you the whole trip (if your lucky)

Sadly my life missed out on the last parts. But my life isnt like a movie. There arent and beautiful landscapes around or special girls to see them with right now. But just maybe if i can move on from this point in my life i can get to my own beautiful ending.

The reason i gave this entry such a title is because of the decision i decided to make. I want to just start up new as if nothing bad has happened or struck me down at any point. I want to be stronger and unbreakable when another chapter in my life starts. But most of all i want to get through this so i can stop hanging my head low and start looking towards the future

So i haven't been here for a while. I've been thinking about what to write and honestly not enough stuff happens for me to write everyday! I think that whole "write about my day everyday" idea was really stupid now. I think now im only gonna write about the things that either bug me or really affect me in some sort of way. Maybe through doing this i can actually understand myself better than i already think i do!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8T3IlxJB54

Hey check it out its singles awareness day! Heres to another year of loneliness on this day of all days. I gotta say this year was much better and easier to get through than years before. Mostly because this day was on a sunday AND on chinese new year! The fact that i was a senior helped out a bit too.

When i was in school friday, even though there was red, flowers, and kissing all over the place i wasn't bothered! This is mainly because my music was blasting AND being cooperative enough to not play all those love song. Keeping myself distracted was so much easier in school. Mr.Tsolekas who is a gym teacher i do service for has the best view on this day! In his not so exact words Valentines day was created by a secret society of women who used this one day of the year to lighten our wallets and get themselves gifts. The main evidence is that the primary color of valentines day is red. This just happens to be the same color as satan and blood. For once women should do something for the men XD. Gotta love Tsolekas cause he makes me feel so much better about the whole thing.

On a side note i will no longer post up stuff everyday because something significant doesn't happen EVERYDAY of my life. I live the modest and simple BUT enjoyable life.

And on another note why can't people just be straight out with their feelings? Honestly we have so much mis-communication these day cause everyone wants to hide their true intentions. I myself am just an open book. To me if people have secrets they dont want to share they shouldn't have done what they did in the first place. People really have to stop hiding behind the fake personas they create for themselves. I just love how when people tell stories about themselves and their current situations they leave out all the little details that would make a huge difference in how people see them (insert sarcasm here).

So back to Valentines day or singles awareness day as i call it. What do other single people do on this day? I've often pondered on the ways others deal with the loneliness of this day. I really never had a good valentines day but I wish i would some day. I think every year when this time came around i was always either heartbroken or just alone, this year being no exception. I think for almost every valentines day I've had i distracted myself with the company of my friends. That worked out great up until i took the long walk home. My ipod never seems to want to be nice at this point. Almost ever song that talks about love is brought up in my ipod. The worst part is that they describe my feelings so well most of the time that i just can't help but listen to it. The song i put up in the top of this entry describes me feelings well. Change up a few small details in the song and it just about tells my story.

To my final point of this entry, Why can't we be friends? For those close to me you should know about whom i'm talking about. She knew every part of me (or so i believed) and had gotten closer to me than anyone has ever been in my entire existence. I would like to believe that i was somewhat of a big part in her life but as time goes on i highly doubt it. Just about everyone knows that i still wanna be her friend and that I'd hate to be the awkward ex. I don't know if its just me but shes making this extremely hard. When i talk to her like i talk to my friends she gets offended so easily! More than half those times I'm just messing around. I love how when i do something wrong i always own up to it but once i pop off cause she did something wrong i turn into the bad guy. People say I've been bipolar but i say that our friendship is bipolar. I already see that I'm slowly being erased from her life. She can deny that all she wants but im too smart to not see it coming.

To those who are in couples and are completely happy about it i wish you good luck in all that you do with that significant other. To those who are singles and looking for their significant other i offer them this advice to take their time and really weigh out the choices they are about to take. To the single people with broken hearts i have nothing to offer you but hope for the future. i believe we all will need it. Happy Valentines day to the couples and Happy singles awareness day to the rest of us!